Wait. One Direction Spam comes first!

Niall Horan ♥

Vas happening peeps? :D If you don't know already, I'ma directioner. Meaning, I'm a One Direction fan. The reason I'm posting or spamming them here is because they are the reason I got out of my depression. So that's what I'm here to talk about today, my depression.

On Wednesday I was normal in school. Just, y'know, me? Then I fell asleep and I had a dream, a flashback. It was about the time afiq broke the friendship. The day he told me to get out of his life. 4 months ago. It was bad. I tried to recover. But then I woke up and I realized I couldn't pretend anymore. I slept through one period of English, the whole two periods of Math and the remaining one period of Physics. When I got home, all I felt was depressed. Then Thursday I stayed home because I was tired & depressed and Mom let me stay home. So I spent my whole day trying to recover from it. 2 days of depression. Then yesterday I did the exact same thing, didn't go to school. Had a nice brotherly talk with angah then he said watching a movie might help so I watched Final Destination 5 all on my own. Brave eh? So that took things off my mind. I didn't pause it at all. So then I watched Coraline but the loading was slow then I watched Spy Kids 4D but was boring without the 4D bit and the sound was crap. So I just went fangirling. After about an hour later, I instantly felt better :) Thanks to One Direction, I am alive and have not cut myself. Louis, Harry and Niall made me laugh. Zayn and Liam just killed me with sexiness. So that's what went down. My tumblr is 95% One Direction stuff so.. http://mathildasofly.tumblr.com :D Go check it out!

Recently just been talking to people. To all the people who told me to cheer up and clean up my act, thank you, I'm better now! Funny thing is, I was brave enough to admit I was depressed and mentally well, wrong. I was strong enough to not cut. I just hope I don't fall into depression again because I'm afraid I might cut myself. Sigh, oh well. Two short paragraphs which are a series of Lil Wayne quotes I put together:

"Through the days of hell you put me through, I will never apologize for what I feel. It's like saying sorry for being real. I've seen nights full of pain, days of the same. You keep the sunshine, save me the rain. All this bullshit made me stronger, motherfucker. You're fucking with a bitch who don't give a fuck either. if you do not understand me, it means you stand under me."

"They say love is the key but somebody changed the lock. This world is cold and deceiving but I keep my head up like my nose is bleeding. You've heard so many lies now you don't know what's true and what's not. I know you wish you never met me but I hope you don't forget me."

That's pretty much it for now. Only Sunday and Monday left for fasting. There's no school on Monday (due to President elections) and Tuesday (hari raya) and half day on Thursday and no school on Friday (Teachers' Day). And then the week after that is the September holidays! Yeah! HAHA. That's it then. Be sure to follow me on twitter and check out my youtube account. New cover soon, I promise! AHHA Bye lovelies!

Cheers,

Mathilda Putri

xxx