| Mathilda Kiara ♔ | ||
| "I will try for your love, ♥" | ||
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Hey. I'm Mathilda Putri. But preferred as Mathilda Kiara :) 14. Mixed blood. What you see is what you get, I'm only my true self to those I trust. I sing. I rap. I fell in love with a dancer who won't give me a chance. Huge fan of New Boyz and NCredible Wonder Broz. So if you hate them, fuck off. I'm also a fan of Skins UK. Theresian. Isabel House Cheerleader. Peace, Love & Ice Cream.  I'm a Gryffindor! |
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I want to be okay. Thursday, October 6, 2011 |
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I can't anymore. You've made me so weak. All these emotions I feel make it hard for me to concentrate on anything. I'm even losing sleep just thinking about it and crying about it. It hurts. I know it shouldn't because I wanted to do it, I wanted you to know. You accepted but I can't accept the fact that you won't tell me how you feel but I'm assuming you don't feel the same because you can't do much, you won't waste your time thinking about it as much as I do, you don't know how to react. I'm assuming rejection because I really can't deal with anything mixed anymore. Another thing, you said to keep you updated and said that you're sure you'll miss me when I'm gone even though we're not close. I thought about it and you know what gets me so sad? It's that you won't miss me even though you said you would. You're just trying to be nice. Which I appreciate but I wish you'd just tell me how you feel. But you can't think about that right now because of your O's and I respect that. I just hope you'll come clean with me on how you feel. Even though it seems like a far way away, time passes really quickly. This year was the fastest year of my life. I thought it was only last week I went to watch you at danceworks, your smile, the way you moved, the way you said hello. It felt like it was only yesterday that I met The Wanted at HMV and remember walking around that area when I went to Sakura for my birthday and I saw you that night too. Not for long but you smiled at me and that was all that you had to do to make my night, to make me smile :-) I really like you. I won't say I'm in love with you because "love"'s too strong a word to be used in this situation but I don't deny that I've fallen for you and I don't regret telling you how I feel either. I just didn't expect to fall so hard and wait a year to tell you how I feel only because I'm migrating to the US. I wish you all the best and never mind, I'll find someone like you or maybe someone better but in the mean time, I'll just carry on trying to stop these feelings for you even though I failed many times before. I knew I had fallen when all those stupid love songs started making sense.  Labels: Love hurts, stay strong. |
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